Loggy

Mar 1 2008, 05:16 AM | Post #1

Unregistered



The following list comprises what I deem to be the 5 most ridiculous quests in RuneScape. Please note that by ridiculous I do not necessarily mean difficult.

Number 5: Scorpion Catcher

So in this quest Thormac the Sorcerer has lost his prized Kharid Scorpions and he asks to go and find them for him. You talk to a Seer who knows where each one is, and of course they are all in thoroughly random and ridiculous places. You bring them back to the sorcerer who is so happy that he will now enchant your battlestaves for a fee.



So here is what is wrong with this quest. Thormac, who is cool enough to get his own freaking tower and have Magic Trees in his courtyard, cannot safely confine three valuable scorpions. Thormac, who is apparently the only person in RuneScape that can enchant battlstaves (cause if someone else could you know they would cash in on it), cannot lock up three effing prize scorpions. These also leads into the problem of what exactly a prized scorpion is. If it's simply a rare and endangered scorpion, a person who so easily misplaces them is obviously not fit and/or liscensed to own them.

Why are we shown such a problem? I would have to guess some kind of gross scorpion-scandal marketing ploy for the staff enchanting business. Thormac is in contact with a Seer who knows exactly where the scorpions are, so why on earth can't he got and get them himself? It's not like there's anything terribly important back at the tower for him to do - he doesn't have any rare scorpions to keep an eye on, for example.


Number Four: Throne of Miscellania

In short, this quest involves you, the brave adventurer (and now diplomat), sorting out the problems betwix the two island kingdoms of Miscellania and Etceteria of the Fremennik Province. The beautiful lady Queen Sigrid of Etceteria has long had problems with Miscellania, and it's up to you to settle the differences between her and King Vargas, the giant yeti-king of Miscellania.

Wait, what?



This bothered me a whole damn lot when I did this quest. I cannot remember if we are told why the king is some affectionate abominal snowman, but even if we are, I do not understand why on earth there could be problems between the two kingdoms. We are told that both of the states are on the brink of war most of the time, but the problem lies therein that both of them have no armies. I can't see why this would be the problem for King Vargas who could personally eat and/or dismember every citizen of his rival kingdom with ease.


Number Three: Cabin Fever

You get to sail with a 'Bill Teach' (yarr harr harr pirate joke) on a pirate ship with its bow pointed towards the secret pirate hideout place. The ship is being chased by yet another pirate ship which intends to keel-haul the hell out of Teach and his ship and, coincidentally, you. A naval pirate battle is promised, and as you yell out bias, idiotic, and completely wrong pirate/sailing terminology, nothing short of extreme hilarity and swashbuckling action is expected to ensue, right?



Wrong. I doubt I have ever been more disappointed in something in RuneScape. The battle is extremely slow and depressing and I'm sure that Blackbeard is rolling 'round in his grave somewhere. It didn't really make sense and the other ship just sat there most of the time and let you screw around with it. The quest had no swashbuckling, a saddening amount of swag, a large lack of rum, and zero kraken - all of which are very necessary parts of any pirate (or even naval) battle, according to the pirate movies I've seen.

There is also an enragingly vast use of the word 'ramrod'.


Number Two: One Small Favour

You, being the nice person that you are, go up to some random native and ask him if he needs help. He asks you do a small favor. This small favor leads into another small favor, which leads into another favor, and then another favor, and then yet another until you end up with some maddening totem pole of favors that is held together by your kindness and apparent insanity. The favors keep coming at you faster than Oprah to a baked ham, and of course you never just say no because you're a spineless bastard who never sticks up for himself.

Oh. My. God. I did this with a friend of mine (Sokker) and I dunno if I've ever wanted to kill myself more due to RuneScape. Other quests, like Monkey Madness and so on, may have been difficult at points, but they had clear purposes and weren't so seemingly tedious. What this quest simply is is some sick Jagex interpretation of 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie'. He'll want a glass of milk, except in this quest, the glass of milk ends up asking you to get it a damn flying saucer or something equally ridiculous.




Number One: Cook's Assistant

Especially after the feast we are shown prepared by him in Recipe For Disaster, I flat out refuse to believe that the head of the **********ing castle kitchen doesn't have any flour.

Or an egg.

Or milk.

This post has been edited by Loggy: Mar 1 2008, 05:17 AM

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Cafebcs

Mar 1 2008, 07:26 AM | Post #2

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I think you was disappointed about cabin fever (the lack of action) and you made this topic for vent your fustration ^_^

This post has been edited by Cafebcs: Mar 1 2008, 07:38 AM

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Deathbyape

Mar 1 2008, 08:30 AM | Post #3

Unregistered

QUOTE

That dude looks like the guy from ZZ Top

I thought that quest where you get that sheep wool was ridiculous.

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O Maniaco

Mar 1 2008, 09:42 AM | Post #4

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I think that dressing up Prince Ali as a transvestite so he could escape was pretty ridiculous.

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Tangerz

Mar 1 2008, 05:03 PM | Post #5

Unregistered



I think the scorpions are the source of magic of enchanting the battlestaves. THAT'S JUST ME.

Also Cafebcs- Woosh.

A quest that I thought was ridiculous was Ernest The Chicken. The professor cannot even get the items which are located in his own mansion with a broken front door. Also, the fact that we killed fish is maddening. Now people cannot eat them due to poisoning.

At least the mad scientist from Back to the Future was cooler.

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Donkey Kong

Mar 1 2008, 05:39 PM | Post #6

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I found Romeo and Juliet quite exciting!
Take a letter about 15 seconds of walking
distance in order to eventually break a
tragic romance lasting 5 minutes, Romeo
is such a swinger.

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Teh Evil

Mar 1 2008, 06:10 PM | Post #7

Unregistered



Haunted Mine was quite ridiculous. A dark, scary, haunted place crawling with ghosts, skeletons, and bats

how cliched

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Loggy

Mar 1 2008, 06:28 PM | Post #8

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QUOTE(Cafebcs @ Mar 1 2008, 02:26 AM) [snapback]107411[/snapback]

I think you was disappointed about cabin fever (the lack of action) and you made this topic for vent your fustration ^_^

Ok you obviously have no idea what I am talking about. The quests and reasons I posted were not because I didn't like the rewards or I thought they were particularly hard, but were for other reasons. Please read a little closer.

Romeo and Juliet was almost on the list due to the gross misinterpertation of Shakespere but since they last changed the quest it's close enough.

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Cafebcs

Mar 1 2008, 08:00 PM | Post #9

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I just stand, that most of the quest you posted are from 2004 or older (except cabin fever). Setting a pirate quest in middle of old quest makes it seems worse. Just admit you disliked the quest

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Loggy

Mar 1 2008, 08:04 PM | Post #10

Unregistered



I don't see how the date of the quests should matter, and further more of course I didn't like Cabin Fever, that is the ENTIRE reason I put it on that list, and I quote: "I doubt I have ever been more disappointed in something in RuneScape."

:\

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Random H

Mar 1 2008, 08:15 PM | Post #11

Unregistered



Not quite sure what you're getting at Cafebcs. Just because the quest is a few years old doesn't mean it has an excuse to have an undeniably poor storyline, the writing team back then should still have been of decent quality.

I'd have to say one small favour was the worst quest, all that running/teleing about then the guy at the end rubbing it in by asking you to do something else before saying "You should have seen your face!". What a jerk.

This post has been edited by Random H: Mar 1 2008, 08:16 PM

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D0B4ll Jr

Mar 3 2008, 01:15 AM | Post #12

Unregistered



I agree with these. Very unuseful and BORING.

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Twilight Ray

Mar 3 2008, 11:03 PM | Post #13

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Cafebcs, stop posting and save everyone a headache.

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Loggy

Mar 3 2008, 11:11 PM | Post #14

Unregistered

QUOTE(D0B4ll Jr @ Mar 2 2008, 08:15 PM) [snapback]107469[/snapback]

I agree with these. Very unuseful and BORING.

APPRECIATED

You know this was so fun to write I might do a similar one soon.

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