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Way back in my prime of non-members player killing and clan related activities, Data Jacs was a respected and feared name. Back in Rivendell (more than two years ago), my first clan, there were a lot of powerful mages – Paradox, Sokker, and Laderboy were the big shots, but in Rivendell one mage was more than the rest. I was the Magin’ Neeblet of Feardom. I was like a magical Zezima walking amongst mere mortals. I had an air staff that could make a black dragon purr and robes so fine I made Wizard Mizgog look like a hobo. In other words, I was the balls. In clan battles, fire blasts flew so fast into the enemies that they didn’t know what hit them. Snares slid off my wrists, tripping up any coward not manly enough to stand up to me or the rest of the clan. Those were the days… I collected quite a few good kills under my belt.
But then, as Rivendell washed away and so did the other clans I joined, I lost interest. Members player killing was too expensive and confusing; no, I have always preferred the simple, original style of PKing, where the best food you could bring wasn’t a freaking baked potato – it was a good ol’ fashioned swordfish. However, as the urge called to me, I decided to go on a trip or two: solo.
Solo player killing in deep wilderness is more or less a suicidal mission, due to the huge probability of running into any clan that will immediately tear apart anyone they see. In multiplayer combat zones, there is in reality no hope at all. However, I have no fear. I have feardom.
Voyage 1.0
I geared up and headed out.

Traveling north through god knows where I could not help but notice that I had no idea where I was. The wilderness is a changed place from what I can remember. I traveled long and far and could find no one.

I eventually found the Chaos Temple, which was empty, and switched worlds. Coming back again to an empty world, I headed for the rune rocks. Two people were there – one, a robed up melee fighter with only a rune scimitar and no skull. I could have killed him for sport, but two things prevented me from doing this: one, I’m too classy for that and two; the other person was a level three ‘noob’.
Anyone with any kind of clan experience knows that level threes this deep in are not the joke they appear. While it was a possible rune miner, most rune miners are going to be a little higher unless it is one of those odd ones. No, it was more than likely a scout; before switching worlds, clans will send one of there men on a ‘noob’ scout account to survey a new world for possible prey – I had to do this a few times in my old clan – and so I figured that a clan could not be long, so I headed east, towards the greater demon ruins, where I found nothing.

Switching worlds and then heading back to an empty chaos temple, I saw no one. I switched again, and when I had reached the rune rocks, I saw two people. We surveyed each other for a moment, and then the level 98 in full rune armour attacked me. I regret to say that in the heat of combat, I took no pictures.
As we were locked in an epic battle, the remaining player stood around, complaining that he had no food and cheering on the other player. When he eventually said ‘Data noob’ I asked him that he would not call anyone names and he agreed. Until halfway through the battle, me and my opponent were evenly matched, and we did roughly the same amount of damage. When I threw curses at him, however, he sensed danger and removed his rune plate and legs – for any ‘noobies’ out there this is done due to the magic defense negatives that both items give.
As he did more damage, I decided it was time to put up my protection prayers, and he did too. Things were very close for a long time, but when I had come to about 25 death runes I ate my last swordfish. My enemy had two more fish left to eat with decent health. I dealt enough damage for him too to run out food, but it left him with high health and me with low.
So, I had a choice; I could easily cast a snare on him and make a smooth escape, which I was sure I could do. However, my opponent had not taunted me at all, and I had used up most of my runes anyway, leaving me with more or less nothing valuable. Thus, I let him bring me down as we exchanged ‘good fight messages’.
I believe the problem with this voyage was that I did not bring the lucky kebab. Tune in for more reports.
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